Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
