Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
