Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
