Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
