I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
