Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize