i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
