How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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