i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
