That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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