It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
