Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
