Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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