her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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