i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
