I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
