Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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