So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
