making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
