its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
