Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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