didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
