I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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