i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
