is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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