Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize