Kiss
Puke
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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