butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
