So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
