is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
