It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
