he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
