youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
