i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
