i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Terrible idea I love it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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