Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
