Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
