this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
