Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she smelled like a LAN party
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
