it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
