Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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