using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
