so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
