everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
