I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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