i would punch a child for taco bell
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
