After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Mom said you looked used
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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