Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
