My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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