I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
