i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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