I think I am morally bankrupt
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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