just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
