Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
