They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
