I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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