Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
wow bdsm is so cute
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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