I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
