She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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