I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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