This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
that's an acceptable place to lick
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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